Disclaimer (or whatever you wanna call it :)

I’ve been debating for a while whether I wanted to blog about this, but after reading some other blogs about people going through the same things as me, I decided that blogging about my experiences could be beneficial in one or all of the following ways:

A: It provides a bit of personal therapy.
B: To possibly help someone else struggling with this same thing.
C: To get my family & friends off my back (kidding…but only kind of.)

I don’t really like talking about myself, or about how I’m feeling, so I can get kind of frustrated by the constant questions. It doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate them, because I really do appreciate the concern. I just don’t like showing vulnerability. I want to come across as this strong, somewhat independent woman, even though deep down I’m not. You just don’t need to know that. Hopefully by creating this blog I can convey my feelings and emotions in a more thought out way, and more in depth way than I could by a text or phone call. Plus, you don’t get to see me cry because my emotions are super out of wack. It’s a win-win.

Because I’m still at the stage where I don’t really understand what’s going on with me, please understand why I’m so hesitant to answer questions or phone calls. I don’t know how to explain things, and I don’t do well under pressure. I’m using this as a way for me to get my thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc. in order so that you can really understand what I’m going through. It’s not my intent to offend or make people feel like I don’t appreciate their concern for me. I really do. This blog is also not intended to make people feel sorry for me. If you do, thanks, but you don’t need to. I really am a little bit tough. I can take a punch.

You also have to understand that I am not doing this alone, which is a reason I feel like I don’t need help. I have a husband who has been the biggest support and help to me. He’s the one I need to be that crutch for me. That’s what makes a marriage, being willing to “bear one another’s burdens.”  We’re in this together, and we will be forever. It’s not like I’m going through this alone. We aren’t going through this alone. We’ve felt the support of much fasting and many prayers, and we know that the Lord is helping us through this. For reasons I don’t understand, this is a trial I have to go through. I don’t know what for, maybe to humble me. Actually it’s most likely for that reason, but I’m doing it, and I’m not alone.

A question I get asked a lot is, “What can I/we do for you.” Honestly, unless you can get be a new body or a Lamborghini, I really don’t need anything. As I’ve thought about this for the past few months, I’ve decided there is something you can do for me. I want you to go out and serve someone. I don’t care if it’s a big act of service, or something little (sending a note to someone). But go out and do something good for someone other than yourself, other than your family. It can be a complete stranger, just do a RAK (random act of kindness). Then let me know via email, text, letter etc. what it was that you did. I'm so serious about this. I want to know how you served. Even if you didn't do it with me in mind, service makes me happy. So let me know. Okay? Deal? Deal!

Also, don’t be offended if I don't want to talk about it. This isn’t about you right now, it’s about me.

Alright, now that we’ve got that all out of the way, let’s dig in... (I'll update in bits and pieces until I get caught up)

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