The Beginning - Raynaud's

In December of 2011, I noticed that if my hands got really cold, they would turn white, and go numb. It just started in my middle fingers, and progressively got worse. I just thought it was really strange, but didn’t think anything of it. I'd just wear gloves and try to keep them warm.

In January of 2012, they started turning a purpleish/blackish color when they got too cold, and they were really hard to warm up again. It kind of freaked me out, and one day at work I showed my co-workers. They kind of freaked out, so that kind of freaked me out. I ended up going to Instacare, where I learned that it was really expensive to go there. I kind of teared up when she told me how much it cost, and I guess she though I was crying because of my fingers. Needless to say those few tears got me in a bit quicker. The nurse came in and did all the basics, and then I waited for a bit longer. Of course by the time the doctor got in there, I had warmed up a bit so they weren't as black as they normally are. After looking me over and hearing my symptoms, the doctor told me it was most likely Raynaud’s. What is Raynaud's? Well, if you don't want to click on that link, it is:  "a rare disorder of the blood vessels, usually in the fingers and toes. It causes the blood vessels to narrow when you are cold or feeling stressed. When this happens, blood can't get to the surface of the skin and the affected areas turn white and blue. When the blood flow returns, the skin turns red and throbs or tingles. In severe cases, loss of blood flow can cause sores or tissue death."

Now I had done some research on my symptoms before, and that is what I had come up with, so I wasn't too surprised by the answer. There isn’t anything they can do to test for it, but based on the symptoms, that’s what they said it was. They did also run some blood tests to rule out some other things (which I so wish I could remember what they were. When I come out of a doctor's appointment, I have a REALLY hard time remembering what they told me. Haha!). Those came back normal. So, I was basically told to keep my hands warm. I was a little frustrated with this guy because he acted like it wasn't a big deal (which I realize it really isn't, but it wasn't cool at the time), but even when I asked him when I should become concerned with it, like how long I should let my fingers stay numb if I'm unable to get them warm, and he said, "Well, it's not like you're going to lose a finger or anything." Right. Can you see why I wasn't happy?

(This isn't my picture, but this is the least gruesome photo I could find, and pretty accurate to what my fingers would look like)

So I just went on, wearing gloves as much as possible, dealing with the constant question of, "Are you really that cold?" which totally shouldn't bug me, but really, why else would I be wearing gloves, and trying to keep my hands warm. It wasn't too long after that appointment when I started developing ulcers on my fingers. I developed a really bad one on the middle finger on my right hand, on the edge of my finger, where the nail meets the finger. It started out being sore to the touch, and then it would look like there was puss under the skin, so I would try to squeeze it out. It was incredibly painful, and it was even worse when it got cold. I wish I could put into words what they're like, but it's kind of gross, and probably unnecessary. Ha! They also take forever to heal. I think that first one took more than 2 months to completely heal, and even after, the finger was never the same. It was still a bit tender to the touch. Even without the ulcers, my finger tips were super sensitive. I had to be super careful digging through my purse because if I hit my fingers just right, it would hurt like crazy. It is a rough thing. still get really cautious when I feel like a sore is coming on. If it's something I can squeeze the puss out of fairly early, they aren't as bad, but there isn't anything I can do to prevent them, other than keep my hands warm, which is kind of hard to do.

Even now, two years later, Raynaud's still really affects me, but honestly, had I known what was in store for me next, I wouldn't have complained so much about it. ;)

Comments

Lindsay said…
Bre, I can't imagine, but I know I would feel the same way as you about doctors be so nonchalant about things. I feel like most doctors are that way, it's hard to find one that's not. This sounds so painful, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Love ya girl!
I Am so glad to have found your blog. My mom was diagnosed with Raynauds 20 years ago, and now scleroderma. Those ulcers are her worst nightmare. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.
bre said…
Vanessa,

I'm glad you stopped by. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Give her a big hug for me. I'm glad my blog can touch someone's life. I know it is so helpful to me to read other people's actual experiences, instead of reading article after article. It makes it seem more real. That's the real purpose behind this blog. I hope to help others through these trying times.

Good luck to your mom, and to you. I know it can be tough on loved ones as well. Stop by again! :)

bre

Popular posts from this blog

What is Scleroderma?

So Much Kindness