5th Doctor's Appointment

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I didn't have my next appointment until January 22. I honestly didn't notice much of a difference between the two appointments, health wise. Everything seemed a little worse, but not too huge of a difference. the biggest thing was my weight. The first thing my doctor said to me was, "You're still losing weight." Then proceeded to ask why. I told him it's just a hassle to eat. It really is. I hate it. It takes forever to eat anything, and nothing really sounds good, so I just don't eat. I've dropped below 100 lbs, which is clearly unhealthy, but I really just have a hard time eating. Greg has been so good to try to get me to eat more, and I do try, but it's just so hard. (I'm a total baby, I know, but seriously...give me a break!)

After that fun discussion, and him telling me I needed to eat more calories, he asked a few more questions and then did a quick exam. I asked him about my hands as they continue to tighten. I told him that my right pinky no longer works. I can bend it, but I can't lift it. It just kind of sits there. I told him I was scared that that was going to happen to my other fingers, and he told me the best thing was to just keep exercising my fingers. He said that the more we can prevent now, the better it will be in the long run. He said he could send me to physical therapy, but at this point, if there's stuff I can be doing at home, then I'd rather do that. Of course, I've been too lazy to do it. That needs to change.

The more we talked, the more I can to a realization that this isn't going to go away. Since the beginning I also had that hope that it was going to go away, I just needed time. But even though this was the best appointment that I'd had, I left feeling a bit uneasy. He offered to send a referral down to the U of U if I wanted a second opinion, but honestly, I trust him. I feel like he is giving me the best treatment. Now, of course, if things change drastically, I might consider it. I don't know. At this point, maybe I'm still in a bit of denial about this whole disease. Like I said though, I'm slowly coming to the realization that this thing is real, and I'm going to have to deal with it forever. Oh joy!


(They just keep taking my blood)

And coming up...... 
a story about sores. You don't want to miss it. :)

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