The Sores

Just a warning about this post, the pictures can be kind gross, so if you don't want to see, then don't continue to read.

First a little medical information according to the Raynaud's & Scleroderma Association:

"It is unusual to develop digital ulcers in Primary Raynaud's but in secondary Raynaud's, (associated with scleroderma), repeated episodes of spasm of the fingers can cause pitted fingertip scars, and in some people this results in fingertip ulcers."

I guess that should have been my first clue, but I ignored it. The sores have got to be the absolute worst part about the Raynauds/Scleroderma. There is no possible way to describe how painful they can be. I got my very first sore on my middle finger in February 2012, and I've gottem maybe 3-4 bad ones since. Even without the sores, when they get cold, my fingertips get really sore and tender to the touch. The edges of my fingernails get cracked and are painful, but the ulcers by far top off the pain. I can tell when they're developing almost immediately because that finger is extremely tender, plus I can usually see a small spot on my finger that looks like puss or something nasty like that. At my last appointment with Dr. Walker I told him I thought I was getting a sore, and when he asked to look at it, he said, "Yep, it looks like it." I asked him what to do about it, because I would normally try to squeeze the junk out, but he told me not to do that. Bummer, since I have to pick at everything. Needless to say, I listened to him, and didn't mess it. It just got bigger and bigger. If it gets cold, and I happen to bump it, it is so incredibly painful. Oh so painful.

Anyway, here's a picture sequence of this lovely process.

{The day after meeting with my doctor // Week 2}

{Week 3 // Week 4}

{Week 6 // Week 7}

{Week 8 // Week 9}

Pretty gross, right? I wish I could have gotten a picture of it after I bathed. It turns this really gross green color and gets all soft. With this one, I got lucky because once the sore came out (week 7), it didn't hurt like it normally does. It leaves this big dent in my finger, and normally it stings like crazy. But once the sore comes off, it's amazing how fast it heals. Now you may be thinking, "Why don't you just rip the scab off from the beginning?" to which I say to you when you have a headache, "Why don't you just cut your head off?" It's incredibly painful because the sore isn't just on top of the skin, it's deep in the finger. Seriously, they suck. 

The best thing I can do for them is keep them covered. My doc said to use a little bactroban, and wrap a band-aid around it. Doesn't help too much, but gives it a little protection. They are totally not fun, and it amazes me how such a little thing can be so incredibly painful. I hate them. But what can I do? Nothing really. Keep my hands warm, because it's not as if I'm not already trying to do so. I loved this from that same website as above:

"The best way to treat digital ulcers is to prevent them from occurring in the first place."

Right....And here is a little more:

"If you haven’t experienced these ulcers you can have no idea of the pain involved. Some ulcers occur in scleroderma patients for no apparent reasons whereas in people with calcinosis they are caused by calcium deposits breaking through the surface of the skin. You can bet that if you knock your hand it will be the finger with the ulcer on which gets the hit! the ulcers are always more painful when the hands are cold as it seems to get to the root of the ulcer and magnifies the pain. Best advice is early intervention as soon as an ulcer starts and to hang in there. They will heal eventually but it may take months or even years! "

I need to stop reading the internet.